Menu
I have never just shown up to do a wedding. I think that it misses the special nature of the moment. It misses, the sacredness of the moment.
Before I officiate a wedding a week, two weeks before the ceremony, I have a conversation with the couple. During that conversation, we walk through the specifics of the ceremony, the specifics could be how many people are you expecting, will you be exchanging rings?
Do you want to write letters that you would like to read to each other at the ceremony? And then when that part of the conversation is done, I’ll summarize it and say, here’s how it’s going to flow and do you have any questions on it?
after that, I go into a different part and I always tell the couple it’s my opportunity to get to know them a little bit and I’ll ask about their age, their educational background what they do for a living, how they like it.
First marriage, second marriage. Do they have any kids? If it’s a first or second marriage, we may talk about have they bought a house.
Are they living together? What are their plans for the future? Are they going to have a family? You know, so you get into that kind of question, and depending on the couple, you could get into a conversation about intimacy. Part of the conversation should be about how do your family members or your parents feel about this. Some of that leads to discussions about are your parents together.
Every time I finish up with the telephone conversation or the counseling and every time I finish up a wedding when I’m talking to the couple very privately at the end of the ceremony,
I will always tell them that if they ever have something they need to talk to about if they need a third party who’s not right there if they have something that’s going on and they just want to run it by somebody, they’ve got my mobile number.
They can pick up the phone and say, Pastor Doug, it’s us and I will always be glad to talk to you when you call because people need that. They’ve got to have someplace to go.